Andy Morley's Pomes

andymorley's pomes | THE MARY WHITEHOUSE RATING, AND OTHER SCORES...

All my pomes are ranked on a Mary Whitehouse scale as follows :

-1 (Mauve)

Sickly-sweet/ Cloying

Real Chocolate-box stuff

0 (No colour)

Neutral

+1 (Blue)

Mild

Might mention politics or male/female relationships but nothing untoward.

+2 (Green)

Saucy or Slightly Political

Might contain the odd expletive and some double entendre

+3 (Yellow)

Close to the Bone

Graphic imagery, rude goings on, politicaly forthright

+4 (Orange)

Explicit

Pretty blunt about most things and really getting down to the nitty-gritty

+5 (Red)

SHOCKING

Goes all the way, in whatever it describes.

I've only explicitly highlighted those poems that rank 4 or 5 on this scale. However, each sub-group of poems within any list tends to get progressively higher up the scale as you work your way through the poems, on the basis that if the subject matter you're encountering starts to make you feel uncomfortable, then it's time to move to another part of the list.

I've made by own assessment of the Quality of the poems I've written. This is inevitably subjective and also very much aligned with how I was feeling on the day that I made the assessment. That said, the quality is ranked as follows :

0 (Mauve)

Dire

Should not be here. If you think any that are here fit this category, tell me.

+1 (Blue)

Poor

Only see the light of day if they are topical or relevant to some passing event.

+2 (Green)

OK

I included a few - they're borderline; may be topical but otherwise of little merit.

+3 (Yellow)

Good

Alright if whatever they're about is of interest to you

+4 (Orange)

Excellent as my poems go

This is the bog-standard I'd like to have as a minimum for all my pomes

+5 (Red)

One of my very best...

I'd like to be writing at this level all the time.

I have tended to put the best ones first. However, as this is only according to my own evaluation, you make not agree, in which case I'd like to hear about it either way. Please email me to let me know your views, but be aware that this particular account gets lots of spam because it's in the public domain, so please put something eyecatching in the subject line, and make it all upper case.