Why did Jo say no...?
Dunno... but bluffing;
Nothing conceals embarrassment
At urgent teenage fumblings.
Why did I
say no to Nicki..?
Tricky; sad from her lost lover, I from mine,
In far off mountain firelight to entwine,
Was clearly her desire but was not mine.
Next day
in Briançon, trying to converse,
Rehearse lame excuses for saying no, when yes,
Confess would surely seem
A dream acknowledged and embraced.
With Jo,
it's so, so obvious
That evening classes in technique would have served;
Unnerved that having brought me to her bed,
Instead, the sad apéritif convinced her to relinquish
the main course.
Nicki I
met again, later on,
In Embrun, passing through
And who was this swollen figure..?
Her vigorous parting boyfriend's one last gift.
I, coming
soon after would have received
Unbelieved credit, without that strange impulse,
Repulse of one so much to be desired,
Inspired to unexpected chastity.
Andy
Morley December 7th 1996